Evolving (not a finished dissertation…be patient)

I hate to admit it, but I’m not the person I should be. More times than not I disappoint myself with the way I interact with the world and how I tackle the work that is before me. There are always people who are doing it better than I ever could; people with more passion and skills than I can dream of. This is a difficult place to be – knowing these things about myself. No one wants to feel inferior or seemingly lacking in what you need to do what’s in your heart to do. There are these dreams in me…they are screaming and pounding at the concrete that holds them in.

I wonder how often throughout our lives we are confronted with choices – big choices – HUGE choices – the kind of choices that no matter what decision you make it won’t make everyone happy. I am confronted with these choices now – mountains placed before me without an easy route to the other side. The person I am right now can not make these decisions. I must become the kind of person that allows themselves to upset the waters once in a while. I must learn to be OK with uncertainty enough to take a flying leap off the edge and see what happens.

Flying leaps are not popular moves for people like me…


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